Mattress Forum

Phoenix

It's a Sealy Backsaver

If you want to save money, you could try a soft topper on your side (latex or memory foam) and firmer on hers.  Maybe buy 2 1" queen pieces and cut them in half and stack for 2" as a starting point (first try it folding in half to see if it works).

My guess is that your plush many be too soft to be adding much in the way of toppers, so starting new might be better.

Strange about the headaches your wife has ... usually a firm mattress causes problems with side sleepers ... unless you mean firm support layers rather than firm comfort layers. I'm guessing that she has had a lot of headaches on this one since it certainly isn't firm? Maybe it's a pillow issue and she is sleeping with a kinked neck?

In any case let us know the model so we can find out what you're sleeping on now before anything else. A link to the specific mattress online would help.

Phoenix

I have a Sealy Backsaver Windjammer. I couldn't find too much online, but I know that it is an ultra-plush queen sized mattress. Thanks for the suggestion about pillows, we're looking at buying side-sleeper pillows for her.

Thanks for the ideas. We're thinking of getting a firm mattress with a soft topper. Hopefully I'll find something under $1000.

That sounds serious! Thanks for the feedback

It seems to me that the top is certainly too soft and the bottom may be too firm (at least with the padding you have). With other layering it could be perfect. There is quite an extreme difference between the 2 main layers of the bed which could end up (which it has it seems) being not suitable to either of you.  I'm sorry to say that to me it looks like you probably made the worst of all compromises. Since you weigh more you are probably going through the super soft layers and sleeping "too much" on the springs which aggravates your pressure issues and she is being affected in a negative way (headaches caused by poor alignment) by sleeping in foam that is too soft which also leads to poor alignment. This is aggravated by the fact that after 3 years the foam in this bed is almost certainly breaking down and making a bad situation worse (perhaps more for you than for her). While a better pillow could help her (if this is an issue), it won't solve the underlying issue of a mattress that is a poor fit for both of you.

I would suggest reading through some of the more recent threads, particularly some of the threads that talk about body alignment and comfort and the different ways to achieve it, and then to do some in-store testing armed with both knowledge and a few tools (like a yardstick or broom handle to look for alignment) ... and maybe a hammer to keep some of the sales people at bay. It shouldn't take you more than a few hours to read through most of the relevant active threads of the past few weeks (and it sounds like you have alread read many of them) to get a general sense of what you are looking for (except maybe some of the big long huge ones that I wrote which may take you the rest of your life to read). It will be time well spent.

You need upper layers that will evenly distribute pressure so you don't have pressure points

She needs support layers that will keep her spine in alignment. Some softness on the top comfort layers (enough to help you with your pressure issues) does not mean that she cannot also have the support she needs for proper alignment. I would certainly stay away from mattresses with that much soft polyfoam and with such an extreme transition ... even with a zoned innerspring.

It may very well be possible that you find both of these qualities in the same mattress since you are not so dissimilar in your overall body makeup.

Test both for initial feel and comfort (for your pressure issues) and with the yardstick to help check for alignment and sliding your hand under her waist (on the side) and the small of her back (on her back) to see if there is enough support there. I would certainly try to avoid more than 1" of soft polyfoam anywhere in the mattress and if you must have more polyfoam in the mattress because of budget issues (if you only have say $300 or $400 to spend) at least make sure it is higher quality HR foam so it is more supportive and less likely to break down. There are lots of suggestions here already posted that should help you find what you need within your budget ... including checking out some smaller manufacturers that sell factory direct in your area.

Phoenix